Did my mother raise 

me thinking I would 

know this much?

About roll up 

linen napkins, 

and how in order

for service to 

go smoothly, 

you should always 

have a backup bin 

of about 150 

(especially if it’s 

A friday or saturday).

Australian men 

who drink at bars

alone, 

should be left 

alone, 

at said bars. 

Do not be smitten

by their accents, 

and precarious, 

(yet funny),

use of the word 

cunt. 

They will lie about 

being married

and having 

kids. 

The title

Artist,

especially when 

being used 

as way 

to identify 

oneself,

is an umbrella term. 

Kind of like word

queer. 

It could mean anything 

from literal 

solo-showing, 

MoMA-ass

sculptor, 

to an 

allusive barista 

who wears 

stupid outfits. 

When an Australian 

man 

tells you 

he is an artist,

you should 

run. 

Fool’s Gold 

head bartender 

WILL give you top shelf 

if you don’t specify 

well!!!

Target’s federal 

conviction rumors 

are true. 

They let it

get to grand larceny 

before they getcha,

and you’ll be fucked 

and left embarrassed. 

It's not worth

shopping there. 

They suck in the city anyway. 

Everyone lies 

on their 

resume. 

Boys are boys

until 

they’re 25,

and even then,

be wary.

Inferiority 

is a feeling 

that comes up 

more often 

than not. 

Especially 

if you’re a woman. 

Or queer.

Or around 

an Australian man. 

I suggest 

ignoring it. 

Doesn’t

do any

good. 

Know your 

place 

of course, 

but you’ll be 

damned if you 

ever 

let a man 

make you feel 

small. 

You were 

already

born with pain, 

forced 

into a world,

that does it 

enough,

just from 

the crime 

of existing.